Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's never too late to be topless.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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