butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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