He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
