how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
