do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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