just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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