It's like God shit irony all over that family
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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