oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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