your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
