TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
