is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
