Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
