It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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