Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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