I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
