I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
