Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
