I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
