i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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