ya dads aren't the best wingmen
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
