I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i think i scared a bird with my dick
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
