Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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