I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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