About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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