Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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