My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
