you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
