someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
