dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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