Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
