i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
