dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
