put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
