New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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