you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you had me at cake vodka
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
