Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
the gays at disneyland are vicious
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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