My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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