Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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