Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
