Your tits are I can't wait for
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
