We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
