it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My pussy is not your playground.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
