john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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