what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
