Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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