matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
