Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
