Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
