____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
