The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
