Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I wear drunk well.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
